Monday, October 1, 2007

Grillz Candy.. What The.. ?!?!

In the words of Rakim, "It's been a long time. I shouldn't have left you without a strong post to read to!" Well, that's not exactly what he said, but you get the point. I'm sorry for not having posted anything in a while. However, sometimes work calls, and lately it's been calling quite often.

Now that I have that apology out of the way, I want to share a disturbing moment with you from a recent trip to Blockbuster. If you've ever been to the video rental superstore, you know that one of the ways they entice you to spend more money before exiting is to surround the line to the counter with candy, popcorn, ice cream and other goodies. Makes sense I guess. If you are going to do the movie thing, you might as well go all out.

I usually look right past all the goodies because I've never been a big candy person. Even as a kid, I didn't really like Halloween. I was the first of my friends to stop dressing up because I didn't think it was worth the trouble if I wasn't going to eat the candy, anyway. So tempting me with candy won't get you anywhere, but cookies are something entirely different!

Anyway, back to the story. So as I am approaching the counter, a flickering of light caught my eye. Was I really seeing what I thought I was seeing? Is that.. it can't be.. but is it really? Oh my God, it's BLING!! Yes, you heard me, BLING!

(Now before you try to take away some of my cool points, I know "bling" is a bit of a played out term right now. I mean once Bill O'Reilly or your grandmother starts using hip terms, it's time for you to stop! However, I just can't think of another word that truly sums up what I saw because it was so trifling!)

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Right there on the counter, in see-through plastic wrapping was "Grillz Candy." Yes, you heard me right again. There's no way I could make that up. It's called, "Grillz Candy!"

Basically, it's a piece of hard candy attached to an apparatus that, when inserted in your mouth correctly, makes it appear as if you have a mouth full of fake diamonds set in platinum. Get it? Grillz Candy!

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Just the concept of this candy disturbed me in ways you could not understand. What has this world come to that companies will manufacture a treat for kids that will make them look like self-absorbed rappers or common street thugs? I mean, what in the name of spinning rims is going on these days?

Hey, don't get me wrong. I can find a good laugh in just about anything. And if you had been in line that night in Blockbuster, you would have heard me do just that. But some people just take some stuff too damn far. I mean, seriously.. Grillz Candy? Really?

By the way, I forgot to share one other important piece of information. The flavor I picked up? Watermelon!


Anonymous said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you in a Blockbuster in MANHATTAN BEACH, CA???!!!

J.A. said...

What's next: 26-inch rims on Big Wheels? They spinnin' nigga, they spinnin'!